so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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