I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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