dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
