As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
