...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
