no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
