Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
