He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
