She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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