I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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