And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
BRING THE BAGELS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
