just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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