areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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