Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
