I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
