Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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