Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize