i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
