So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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