You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
