This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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