escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
organizing the empties. That sober.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
