so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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