worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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