God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize