this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
