I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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