I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
