paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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