Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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