The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
