oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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