ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
