were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
