I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
