it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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