How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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