Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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