if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
