i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize