Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
