addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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