Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize