So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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