hotel room ftw
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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