yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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