Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to walk on stilts...naked
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They are going to name an STD after you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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