i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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