Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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