NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
