Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
