its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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