i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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