i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
