so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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