First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
