I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
