Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
