I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize