As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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