Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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