weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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