i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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