Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
