i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
